Therapy for Grief and Loss

There are a number of ways grief appears in our lives. You may be experiencing grief due to the loss of a loved one, or you have had to let go of some aspect of your life that was dear to you.

When we are faced with loss we may feel alone, angry, anxious, and powerless in the face of the change. Often we feel emotionally and physically drained. It can be difficult to concentrate on daily tasks and make decisions. Social contact may feel burdensome and you would rather isolate yourself for fear of having to answer questions like, “How are you doing these days?” You may be afraid that those close to you are tired of hearing about your grief, so you keep it bottled up inside, and judge yourself for not being able to “get on with life”. Many of the people I work with in therapy feel frustrated because they feel pressure to get back to being “normal”. But healing loss has its own rhythm and takes time.

Grief can also arise from losses that the people around you may not fully recognize. The end of a relationship, a miscarriage, the loss of a career or a dream, a move away from a place you loved, the estrangement of a friendship, perimenopause, or the slow loss of a parent to illness — these are all forms of grief that deserve as much care and attention as the death of a loved one. When others do not understand or validate what you are going through, the grief can become compounded by loneliness and self-doubt. You may wonder if you are overreacting, or feel ashamed that you are still struggling when it seems like you "should" be over it by now.

The power of grieving

Grief is an important process that ushers in a powerful time in life. It is a healthy and normal reaction when we experience loss in our lives. Grief reveals to us the depth of our emotions and forces us to meet our emotional and spiritual selves in new ways. We discover parts of ourselves that we may not have had access to such as our deep vulnerability and profound ability to love.

It can be confusing to feel deep suffering while at the same time experience ways in which we are growing. Many of the people I work with in therapy are surprised that their grieving process reveals their ability to heal as well as their capacity to take on greater responsibility for their emotional wellbeing. They are eventually able to connect with themselves and others in more authentic and meaningful ways.

Grief, when met with care and attention, can also illuminate patterns that predated the loss — ways you may have been living on autopilot, pouring energy into roles and responsibilities that left little room for your own aliveness. Some clients discover through the grieving process that their loss has brought them into closer contact with what truly matters, and that the work of grief is also the work of rebuilding a life that is more authentically their own.

Therapy can support you during the grieving process

Everyone has their own unique way in which they move through grief. As a therapist I work with you to support your individual experience and to understand how grief is affecting you emotionally, physically and spiritually. Grief and loss therapy focuses on meaningful ways to track your recovery so that you are in touch with the internal and external clues that show you are feeling more present and engaged in your life. Working with somatic awareness and mindfulness can also be a powerful way to heal the anger, shock and denial that can surface while confronting grief.

My approach as a therapist is to support you in finding emotional, physical and spiritual tools that help you to slow down and be present to your experience. Slowing down creates space for you to digest your feelings while nurturing joy in your life.

My Approach to Grief and Loss Therapy

Grief is one of the most embodied human experiences. It is not only an emotion — it changes the way we breathe, the way we hold our bodies, the way we sleep, eat, and move through the day. This is why my approach to grief therapy integrates somatic awareness alongside talk therapy. We pay attention not only to the story of your loss but to how grief is living in your body — the heaviness in your chest, the restlessness that keeps you awake, the numbness that makes it hard to feel anything at all.

I also draw on contemplative psychology and mindfulness to help create a quality of spacious attention around your grief. In a culture that values productivity and moving forward, grief asks us to slow down, to be present with what is, and to trust a process that does not follow a linear timeline. In therapy, I hold that slower pace with you. I do not rush you toward resolution. Instead, we create a space where your grief can be fully felt, explored, and eventually integrated into the larger story of your life.

For clients who are navigating grief alongside other challenges — such as childhood trauma that resurfaces with new intensity during a loss, or codependent patterns that have made it difficult to grieve authentically — I bring an integrative approach that addresses the full complexity of your experience. I may also invite you to work with expressive arts, meditation, or dream work when these feel appropriate for your healing process.

Frequently Asked Questions About Grief and Loss Therapy

How do I know if I need grief therapy? If your grief feels overwhelming, isolating, or stuck — if you find yourself unable to function in your daily life, or if months have passed and the intensity has not shifted — therapy can provide essential support. But you do not need to be in crisis to seek help. Many people find therapy valuable simply because they need a space where they can be honest about how they are feeling without worrying about burdening others.

Is it normal to feel grief for a long time? Yes. Grief does not follow a predictable timeline, and there is no point at which you "should" be over a significant loss. Cultural messages about moving on can create shame around grief that is still very much alive. In therapy, we honor your experience exactly as it is, without imposing expectations about how long the process should take.

Can therapy help with anticipatory grief? Yes. Anticipatory grief — the grief that arises when you know a loss is coming, such as a loved one's terminal illness or the slow decline of a parent — can be as intense and disorienting as grief after a loss. Therapy can help you navigate the complex emotions of this period, including fear, guilt, anger, and the exhaustion of caregiving, while also helping you find ways to be present with your loved one during the time you have.

I experienced a loss years ago and still feel affected by it. Is it too late for grief therapy? It is never too late. Unresolved grief does not disappear with time — it often goes underground, showing up as chronic anxiety, depression, difficulty forming close relationships, or a pervasive sense of numbness. If an old loss is still affecting your life, therapy can help you finally give it the attention it deserves and free up the energy that has been held in the unfinished grieving.

What is the difference between grief and depression? Grief and depression can share symptoms — sadness, fatigue, withdrawal, difficulty concentrating — but they are different experiences. Grief is a natural response to loss, and within grief there are often moments of warmth, connection, and even laughter alongside the pain. Depression tends to be more pervasive and can feel like a flattening of all emotion. Sometimes grief can develop into depression, especially if it goes unsupported for a long time. In therapy, we can explore what you are experiencing and find the approach that best supports your healing.

I can be reached at 415.721.3355 or by email to discuss how grief and loss therapy can help you move through the healthy process of grieving. I see clients via telehealth throughout California and in my San Francisco office in Noe Valley at 4155 24th Street, San Francisco, CA 94114.

To learn more about my thoughts and approach to psychotherapy, you can read the articles on my psychotherapy blog.